Hello again everyone! Before I jump into it, I just wanted to say that I am incredibly grateful for every experience that I have had through horses, even if it was extremely painful at the time. Some of my relationships have ended and some have flourished. But I regret none of it. Okay.. onto the story!
I do not remember a time when I have not loved horses. I think that I had a fairy godmother who had never given a gift before and something that she was not sure whether it was a blessing or a curse but just hoped that she was doing it right. She decided to give me this gift of being an equestrian and let me figure it out.
One trip to the Kentucky Horse Park, and I was head over heels in love with these animals who somehow spoke to my soul. I had stuffed animals, figurines, books, drew pictures, and took pony rides whenever they were avalible. I was determined that when I was old enough, I was going to have a pony, and there was never a doubt in my mind that my future was to be filled with working with equines as long as I am able.
My parents took me to a horse show one sunday afternoon and little unsuspecting me thought we were just going to watch the horses but after the show, my parents asked me if I wanted to start taking lessons! I was so excited to be able to start on my journey and soak up every piece of knowledge that they would give me.
My first couple of lessons were private lessons but then I quickly progressed to group lessons which I remember with very fond memories. My favorite excericse that I remember was the clock excercise where we were all on a circle and were given different tasks to do in the different sections of the “clock” we were riding around. My worst and probably funniest memory there is when I was riding around and I forgot to check my girth and my saddle slid over with me. I remember being scared and then laughing when I hit the ground. I guess that is my first time “falling off” but I really don’t count it because I droped close to two feet to the ground. Not really the story of a spook or becomeing unbalanced and falling off the very top of the horse. My favorite memory from my early lessons were of it being a very cold winter and after we were done with our lesson, we got to take the saddles off and I got to experience my very first time riding bare back.
I think I stayed at that barn for about a year and it was there that I completed my very first show! I remember all of my family coming out and supporting me after church on sunday and staying all afternoon just having a blast showing off my new skills and enjoying riding the ponies. If I were in the movie Inside Out, those would be very core memories that Joy is taking care of with a passion.
After being at that stable for about a year, we decided to start looking for a barn closer to us because we were driving over an hour to go to horse lessons every week. It was not very feasible to continue doing that for an extended amount of time. We found a barn that was twenty minutes from our house and this new barn was where I spent the next two years learning.
My first lesson was an evaluation of everything that I learned and I remember being super proud of myself for getting on a strange horse and walking and trotting around like a “professional” in my mind. Of course I was nowhere near a professional but I felt very proud of myself.
From there I started learning how to do small pole courses, starting to canter, and building to starting to jumping. I have two favorite memories from this barn: the first one is the first time that I cantered. Is there anything more magical to a little horse girl feeling like she is flying? I really remember my time being special because my grandmother actually came to the lesson and watched me. My second favorite is when I started learning how to ride really hard excercises like no stirrups, posting with no stirrups, and riding hands free. I was so proud of myself for the one time that I acctually posted around with no stirrups and no hands.
Pause from reading for some pictures of little me riding horses.
On the day when I was going to jump my first small cross rail, it happened. I properly fell off a horse for the first time. I do not remember all of the little details, but I remember the horse starting to canter way before I was ready to, threw me off balance and … I fell in the sand. I actually blacked out for a few seconds and woke up to my mom and trainer over me asking me if I was okay. (side note here, but my mom actually had a broken foot and ran over to me on her broken foot.) I actually got back on and rode around for a minute before getting back off. My mom and I suspect that I probably had a fractured wrist because I threw up on the way back to the house and had some wrist pain for a while. But we just thought that I had a mild sprain. Thinking back we should have probably taken me to the hospital.
After that my confidence was still pretty intact, and I had my second horse show in the summer. My mom took me out and bought me a complete outfit and I entered seven classes throughout the whole day.
I did walk/trot, w/t over poles, a costume class, simon says, a relay race, and an egg and spoon race. My favorite class was the costume class where I dressed up as an indian and painted my horse. I was able to stay afterward and help wash horses, put horses away, and actually got a gift from my instructor. That whole day is such a fun memory and was what every little kid dreams of when they think about going to a horse show. (Another core Joy memory)
At some point after this, I remember my instructor telling me that I needed to figure out where I wanted to go, and I actually chose dressage as the path to go down for a while. I started riding and learning the intro tests and really enjoyed memorizing tests.
Before I got to start cantering in dressage tests, I had my worst fall yet. The horse I was on spooked and bolted around the arena with me falling off and hitting the ground quite harshly. I remember being pretty bruised but what was hurt the most was my confidence. From that point, I was really scared of anything that might happen and it eventually reached the point that I could not even walk around the arena without crying. I still loved horses with all of my heart, but I was in constant fear the whole time I was on them. After that, my mom pulled me out of lessons and I took a break from horses for about two years.
The lessons that I learned in this first part of my journey are smaller but still impactful. First, never forget that the horses that we love are not programmed with a want to make us fear them. Horses never want to make us scared on purpose. They are either scared or in pain when they are acting aggressively towards us. I look back on the constant anxiety that I developed towards being around horses because of the aggressive language that we label them with. We are told that we need to dominate and teach respect because they are being a moody mare or an angry gelding. We need to remember that they are beings with a core desire to be at peace and to please us.
Secondly, do not be afraid to say no because you are uncomfortable doing something. I think that because I was so afraid to say no, my fear kept getting worse and worse to the point that it was debilitating. All I had to do was say that I did not feel comfortable a couple of times and I think I would have been able to build up my confidence at a much earlier age.
As this post is quite long, and I still have quite a bit of my story left to tell, I am going to make this a two part series. I hope you all enjoyed part one and will enjoy continuing to hear my story.
Comm Equestrian 