The hardest thing about making my college decision was that I liked all of my colleges. I visited all of the campuses and had done my due diligence in researching their degrees and programs. But when it came down to it, I had done too good of a job. All of my colleges had an equal playing field for my future home and it took me three months to come to a final decision. I wanted to share my journey to my decision to maybe help someone else see that it can be the smallest things that are the most important.
When I first started my college search, I had over 20 general colleges on my list. As I figured out what I want from my college, I was able to narrow it down to about 10 colleges. My criteria were small liberal arts colleges that had a strong business, equine, and music programs. From the start of the year, I was finally able to narrow it down to my final four colleges. After a college visit, I could scratch off one of the colleges and that left me with three colleges were all level playing field. Each one of the colleges had a strong equine business program, music program, and a campus that I could see myself thriving in. They were all really close in the amount of money they had offered me and what the final price would be for me to attend, so finding out what I needed to do to decide on a college was not an easy task.
My top three colleges were a college in New York, a college in Georgia, and a college a little over an hour from my house. Over the course of about a month, I made so many lists, that I could probably fill up an entire notebook. I have done pro-con lists, comparison charts, random facts about the campuses, written notes from zoom meetings and phone calls, written notes from emails and mail, and gathered information from college visits. My family has sat with me and talked to me about all of the options for hours and hours, I have talked to people with an outside opinion, and I have talked to people from the colleges and people that would be entering the class with me from each school. When it came down to this final month, there were several realizations and events that thankfully helped the decision fall into place.
First thing that happened was the corona virus and being in quarantine for over a month now. This WHOLE situation has really put what is important into perspective. The college in New York was absolutely phenomenal and I know that I would have had an amazing time there, but I am not sure if the school or even new york will even be open by the time the semester arrives. The college was over 10 hours away and if another event like this were to happen later in the year, I would not be able to reach my family if something happened to anyone. I could not justify seriously considering this college after seeing the world come into a time of total lock-down. So, I guess there was something positive that came from this time. For all of those reasons, I took that college off of my list. Truthfully, it broke my heart because it was my dream school for almost a year. But I made my peace with it and was able to move on and try to decide between my last two schools.
The next part was really a time of back and forth. I had a conversation with my youth pastor and we talked about what would be a good environment for me to be in. We talked about how an environment that did not have as strict of rules set may be a very positive thing for me. I am a type one enneagram and that means that I have very high standards for myself and the people around me. I have a very serious problem with breaking rules that they know are there. So, things that happen on every college campus that be against the rules on some campuses would more than likely cause me a lot of anxiety and frustration. The college in Georgia did not have super strict rules, and I would probably be able to handle things better and have a happier campus experience. After that conversation, I really was leaning towards the college in Georgia.
But then after several conversations with my parents, I realized some of the practicality of me choosing the college that that was closer to home. I had a chance that would be able to take my horse with me and I have a lot of opportunities to continue working with many of the people that I enjoy working with and possibilities of finding a way to work at several of the farms that are in the nearby city. And for some reason I kept resisting that college, and I kept asking myself why? Why did I not want to go to that college? I kept thinking and pondering and searching my brain to try to understand what was happening.
Since the beginning of the year, I have learned to love and appreciate yoga. The physical benefits have been astronomical but the mental benefits have been something that I did not expect. There are yoga flows that are for stress relief, happiness boosts, and my favorite through this process has been a yoga flow for clarity. I had done this flow before and I had not had any results. But I decided to give it a go again and really made my mind up to keep my mind open and really ask myself and God what I needed to learn from this. No surprise to anyone, I found what I was looking for!
The college close to my home is close to everything else that we are a part of: our church, homeschool groups, theater program, and many of our friends. I have loved everything about the college for a long time, but I developed a resentment towards it. When I went off to college, I wanted to go and find my own path and I was afraid that if I attended a college that close to home, everything would stay the same. I did NOT want that.
In the yoga flow, the instructor asked us what was holding us back from moving forward with clarity and openness, and the realization that I did not want to go because of “fear of the same” hit like a ton of bricks. I was afraid of not changing. All my high school years, I have been looking forward to going and finding my own path and discovering what I could do with my life. I did not think that that was feasible if I stayed too close to everything that I knew. I put the college back into the picture seriously and started researching again.
When I seriously started looking at attending, everything just kind of fell into place. One of my biggest concerns about college (and admittedly one of the only things that has made my cry) is leaving my horses . The other colleges had boarding that was really high or it would cost a lot for me to take him with me. I also wanted to have a place that I would feel comfortable leaving my other horse at where she would be given a job and would be well taken care of. The college close to home has the cheapest boarding that we have seen, and the cost of bringing him is about the same as bringing him to a show so I am comfortable looking at paying the boarding fee. I have a couple of options for my mare now as well!
When it really came down to it, there was a couple of extra thousand of dollars that we really needed to have taken off before I could make my final decision. I contacted my admissions counselor and she was the difference that we needed. (Seriously cannot stress the importance of your admission counselor. They are amazing!) I lucky enough to be given a couple more scholarships so that it was actually feasible for me to attend. Just a couple of extra thousand knocked off of the price was such a relief!
It was a almost two weeks ago that I made the decision to attend the college that is close to my home! I am so excited about it and I have already taken classes there and know a lot of the people so I feel confident that I will be able to have a good time and that it will provide me an education that I have always wanted. It was a fear of staying the same and falling back into my old habits and routines that kept me form considering a college that I have loved from 5th grade. 5th GRADE! That is a long time to love a college.
After having some very long conversations with people that I respect and look up too, they helped me realize that it is up to me and only me for how my college experience is going to be. If I have a sour attitude going into it, then I am not going to have a good experience. But if I approach this with a positive and open attitude, then I am going to be able to have the time of my life! If I do not want to stay in a rut, then I do not have to. If I want to find people that are interested in my interests and not having to worry about if I am boring the people around me, I am going to be able to find them and I am going to love it. I will find my tribe, and I make the time for the things that are important to me.
I have had to make some hard decisions and there are going to be some hard conversations coming up in my future. But I feel at peace with my decision instead of the insane amount of anxiety that I had up to this point. It can sometimes be the smallest thing that helps you make your decision, but if you make the time to take time to meditate, reflect, pray (if that is applicable to your beliefs), and be open to positive growth and options that you might not want to consider, there will be avenues that will open for you!
Seniors.. You have got this far and you can make these hard decisions! It only takes a lot of soul searching 🙂
Comm Equestrian 